EXOLOGY Chapter 1: The Lost Planet

I haven't been able to post anything for quite some time right?
Hi guys! So what brings me to update one?
hmmm I don't know but heyyyy what's this?

EXO's December, 2014 (The Winter's Tale) 

And and and andddd... did you guys hear the 

EXOLOGY Chapter 1: The Lost Planet 

Okay okay let me just... *squeaaaaaaaaaaaaals* okay I'm just a little excited  for this you know I'm just, like, who am I kidding ohmaigadddd the album is so good, the voices, the songs -except for the screaming fans but then this is a concert album, so deal with it- and I'm just going to ignore the fact that I didn't go to any of their concerts -because when did I ever go to one?- and just enjoy.

So this is EXOLOGY Chapter 1 Tracklist

EXO (엑소) – EXOLOGY CHAPTER 1: THE LOST PLANET

Artist : EXO
Album : EXOLOGY CHAPTER 1: THE LOST PLANET
Genre : 팝 (Pop)
Release Date : 2014-12-22
Language : Korean

Tracklist :

CD 1
01. December, 2014 (The Winter’s Tale).mp3
02. The Lost Planet.mp3
03. Haka.mp3
04. MAMA (Rearranged).mp3
05. Let Out The Beast.mp3
06. I’m Lay (LAY).mp3
07. 월광 (Moonlight).mp3
08. Delight (CHANYEOL).mp3
09. 你的世界 (Angel).mp3
10. Black Pearl (Rearranged).mp3
11. Up Rising (CHEN).mp3
12. XOXO (Kisses & Hugs).mp3
13. Beat Maker (SEHUN).mp3
14. Love, Love, Love (Rearranged).mp3
15. Thunder.mp3
16. Tell Me What Is Love (D.O.).mp3
17. My Lady.mp3
18. My Turn To Cry (BAEKHYUN).mp3
19. Baby Don’t Cry.mp3

CD 2
01. Machine.mp3
02. Breakin’ Machine (XIUMIN).mp3
03. 3.6.5.mp3
04. History.mp3
05. Beautiful (SUHO).mp3
06. 피터팬 (Peter Pan).mp3
07. Metal (TAO).mp3
08. Deep Breath (KAI).mp3
09. 중독 (Overdose).mp3
10. Wolf – The Legend Begins.mp3
11. 늑대와 미녀 (Wolf).mp3
12. 으르렁 (Growl).mp3
13. Lucky.mp3
14. Black Pearl (Rearranged) (Studio ver.).mp3
15. Love, Love, Love (Acoustic ver.) (Studio ver.).mp3
16. 늑대와 미녀(Wolf) (Stage ver.) (Studio ver.).mp3
17. 으르렁(Growl) (Stage ver.) (Studio ver.).mp3

Credits: Owner (click it!)

You can hear the album here or just go to Youtube channels, there's tons of it, I think.
And go to iTunes to download them, or here or here whichever.

I have to say, 'Love Love Love' acoustic version is pretty good. And then there's the members' individual performance, I watched and I still wished that I was there *sigh* ugh whatever. I wonder how the concerts would sound like if that one particular person is there. Hm. He seems to be fine -incredibly so- on his own.
So, guys have a good listening to the songs. I'm retreating myself and get back to my books because I've come to realize that I haven't studied anything despite a few more days exam. So uh... enjoy.

What? I like these idiots when there's 12 of them and still do, so.

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THANKS FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE YA !

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Daylight

Holding you has always been my favorite thing. 
One of the ways that make me feel close to you.

Cause I know when I'm awake, I will have to slip away. 

Everyday I wished for the time to stop but I didn't. You asked me why, but darling, you should know better, for time stopped for no one.

I'm sorry, neither of us wanted this, but time passes and people changes, responsibilities weighing us down, we were left with no option. I was afraid of the dark, but I wanted it more then ever, if it meant staying with you, even for a brief second.
I'm sorry for promising you a forever when I know neither of us ever afford to keep, for no matter how long it seemed back then, it wasn't long enough.

I'm sorry it was written this way but this is not the end of our story

We'll add another chapter after another until we find our happily ever after

It might not be a good page, i'm sorry but i love you, so much it hurts

And even if i were to be given the chance to rewrite, I wouldn't change even the slightest

Because its beautiful as it is, our own version of fairytale

We might not be perfect but that's what makes us special.

Daylight's coming,

And I have to go.

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THANKS FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE YA !

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The Night

The night seemed to be longer than it should

The sky was pitch dark, the moon was absent, not a single star was seen 

It was strangely cold, her fingers were numb but never did the thunderous footsteps stop echoing, breaking the dead silent

Even the crickets singing mute, but she forced her legs to keep on moving.

She kept on running, trying hard not to stop hoping that somehow the tighten knot forming on her chest will be released and left somewhere along the way. But she knew better for she had been running for as long as she can remember; and she still running. 

She wanted to stop but didn't dare herself to even think about it. 

Lots of things, questions demand for some answers; she never seemed to able to give.

The question, again and again, popped into her head;

What will she do if she can't run anymore?

She had always been terrified. Taking one meticulous step after another, calculating each one of them. But sometimes, things just don't work that way and she started to regret things and felt the fear of making another. And so she thought that it is always easier to just run away. Away from the hurt, avoid the consequences of her actions after and build the strongest wall she could muster to shield herself. 

It was tiring and exhausting; but she always thought that she never had a choice. 

But then she realized that even in the darkness of the night, whether or not she thought about the worst secenarios, she will somehow, in the end, able to make it through. She was able to see and unconsciously followed the light at every end of her escapades. A smile never fail to make its way on her lips, be it ever so slightly. 

Later that night, she learned something. 

She learned that for whatever reason she had been running away from was nowhere far and for whatever reason she had been searching for was right there all along.

Because she realized that the salt in her wound is not burning anymore than it used to. It's not that she doesn't feel the pain, it's just she's not afraid of hurting anymore.

Because all her life that's what she's been running from and because all her life, shelter and security are what she's been searching for.

She knew no one would ever be able to provide her such things; well at least not until she braced herself for whatever's coming. Life has been very complicated and unfair not only to her but to the people she loves as well. Yet then again, no one said that life is going to be easy. 

She had to make the best out of things where running is no longer her solution and being hurt is no longer an option. It doesn't matter if she's all alone, because eventually everything's going to fade away. All that matter is that she has her faith in Him. She knew that she's a strong girl and as long as she has her and God's will, she will have her way.

So what she will do when she can't run anymore?

She fights back.

Typed from the rooftop; have a good night everyone.

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THANKS FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE YA !

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Aware

• And you asked in silence
  with your eyes closed shut
  how can there be silence
  when in blare you stand
• one by one had lost its means
  bit by bit left your chest suffocates
  you're yearning to run and hide
  but where can you go?
• a thirst that no ocean could ever satisfy
  a  starvation that could never be satiate
  you aware but never did you acknowledge
• you seek everywhere, high and low
  when the answer was right there before you
  what was all the effort you put up for
  if everything were to fall in vain?
• nothing but sorrow never stop shrouding your mind
  collapse but there's never one to catch
  you aware but never did you acknowledge
• what were you searching for,
  to be exact
  for all you are this whole time
  naked and barren
• what were you searching for,
  to be precise
  for night has turned in day
  the answer remain the same
• nothing but sorrow never stop shrouding your mind
  collapse but there's no one to catch
  you aware but never did you acknowledge
  the sorrow, the longing you felt
  for God
• 
  
• So uh, this is sudden but it's for someone I met; an acquaintance. Yeah I'm doing this for an acquaintance. Normally I won't and even if I did, its because I have to.
• Hey Myun *waves* it's not that much but there. It's not that bad right? I actually put some effort in this, you know, the rhymes and all though I know, it's a little bit different but like I said, it's in my own thoughts and words. 
• So... take it or leave it.
  

• 
  
• Have a good day everyone.
• 
  

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THANKS FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE YA !

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Solitude

Even though I enjoy isolation- quiet and peaceful- never have I enjoy being alone.

Stranded on a vast extension of a desert, i always thought i could still- somehow- move on. shattered into pieces, picking back up took longer than it should, fixing it was never as easy as it looks. tears streaming down could never create a river. the desert was parched and barren. yet the sun is shining. 

what's the good of a light when you're blind inside? 

good things come for those who waits. you never know what plan He has made for you.

will it worth the pain, exhaustion; physically and emotionally, blood and tears shed? 
seconds have never feel like forever.

laugh harder. smile wider.

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THANKS FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE YA !

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Of holidays, social skills and Cameron Dallas

Hey guys~! Great to see ya'll.

There's a lot of things going on during this holy month I don't even know here to start.

Well okay, first things first. How's your Ramadhan going?

Okay I know this might be a little too late since it's almost Syawal in a few days and it's not that I can't wished you guys earlier this month but you know me, I'm a panda so yeah.

I still haven't finish writing 'Afternoon Rain' but I already did 'Mona Lisa'- just in case.

My Ramadhan is going fine. Though it went pretty fast don't you think? Now that I think about it, I really really should have step it up, you know.

Oh well, do your best until the final day and hopefully the days afterwards.

I've read several tweets about it. I really wished I could screenshot them.

"Ramadhan masih berbaki, manfaatkanlah sebelum ia pergi, tahun depan belum tentu ada lagi, sebab mati tak kita ketahui."

I just thought it makes perfect sense and reminds us to appreciate what we have at the time being. We tend to take almost everything for granted when we have them but regrets it once we lose them. Typical.
And I almost had my shopping for kasut raya moments. Too many shoes don't know which one to pick. Wedges or straps? studded sounds cool. No flat shoes this time, buddy- sick of it. So I totally need some new style. This happens because all I have right now is a pair of flippers and couple of sneakers. Oh and flat shoes.
For this Syawal, I'm heading to my mom's place. Which is a total relieve to me. 
Thank god! And then, I'm going to get myself ready to work- off to Bukit Jelutung everyone, sigh- before the result for the next intake is announce. I really really really hope that I made it during the interviews. I didn't nailed it obviously because I feel like I can do better but whatever, it's in the past now so all that I can do is tawakal and pray for the best- for me and my fellow friends.
Speaking of fellow friends, I've been- surprisingly- catching up with old schoolmates. Still awkward though. As ever. But it was fun so meh. My buddy has been really patient with me too. Replied my random and mostly ridiculous texts. It's just that I've been busy you know and we're fasting so it's only natural that you get tired easily so sometimes I slept for too many hours or I slept during ungodly hours because of works and sent her excerpts of stuffs that I wrote randomly most of the time, or quotes or lyric of a song just to let them know that I still think about them even though I'm not replying. But I will whenever I had the free time though. I just want them to know I did not forget okay? 
And I think I made new friends. We texted and stuffs but really it's not that much and I'm pretty sure they did most of the talking and I'm just being the good listener but still offers here and there. Or at least trying to keep the conversation longer. I don't really know how things worked anymore. Right after school I went to work and had so little time to socialize. Really! I'm not kidding. Even during weekends. So I don't know whether I'm pushing them away or not. I really hope not. Because as much as I do enjoy isolation, I realized that I really don't want to be alone you know. I told my buddy about this and thank god she never left. You're stuck with me for life buddy! 
But...... my social skills with kids are getting better! I don't even know where the hell I had such a strong self-control. Because when it comes to kids, it's only natural that you feel like you want to drown them into the deepest part of the sea or at least throw them through the window and let them fall into the gorge or something.
But then they go all cute and adorable and BAM~! everything went their way. Ugh sneaky little devil. And they doesn't seem to listen to me that well you know. Maybe because I'm too kind? You know, all bark but no bite? How can I when they're using that pretty little eyes and those cute little ramblings and stuffs.
There's this one particular kid that I just don't have it in me to stay mad at him for too long. His name is Muizuddin or Muish as I called him. I just can't. I love him too much. He's like a son that I never have- pfffft, duh- and he makes me feel like I want to have a son. 
Cam, would you be the father? Really.
Ok, enough about that. Lets just move on.
Oh and I've been watching Cameron Dallas and Nash Grier lately. Dear lord aren't they charming. I think Cameron is more of a charmer than Nash tho. I mean, I looked and read most of his tweets - I followed him okay?- and I have to say, he makes me wanna fall in love with him. His words, humors and compliments, it's like appreciation and his photos with the fans- I was like, ohmygodthatshouldbeme!- and then his videos- even a cute little kid falls in love with him!- so I came to a conclusion that no one can resist a good-looking charmer like him or at least not me. He seems like a very sweet, lovely and considerate person you know. He makes me wanna make him mine.

Hmm, maybe I should *wiggly brows*

Don't you think so? I think I have a crush on him. 

That's all for today I guess. I just want to write something so that this blog doesn't look like it's inhabited. I'll probably post again something tomorrow.

It's a pandora box *wink wink*

It's been a long day today. I just got my dad's car wrecked. So you know it. I am so going to die because he's going to skin me alive and make my skin into a rug so when I get dirty he can beat me up.

Have a good Ramadhan & Syawal everybody!

*I just realized that this post had very little things about Ramadhan & Syawal. Sorry*

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THANKS FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE YA !

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The Lost

Hi. It's been quite a while since the last I wrote. I think, last year?

There's nothing new happening obviously. Right now, I'm currently in a phase where almost everyone in my age are facing; working/having jobs, attending interviews or MEdsi tests, spending little time with friends and family, and waiting for the results for next intake to college and universities. Or was it just me? I'm not exactly sure. Somehow I'm an outcast to the world. Not that they're doing that to me, no. More like I'm not standing out enough or in other words, not taking interest in what the world was facing.

Which its consequences were shown in so many different ways.

I've never know having someone constantly around can cause such heartbreak in the end. Wait. Scratch that, actually I do know. I just didn't think it will happen to me.

Why? Because it felt so good. To have someone fussing over you, worried about you, do some stupid, ridiculous and absurd things with you, always- okay maybe not always but most of the time- be there for you. It felt very good. 

Hence, I never thought about them leaving me. 

Simply because it's easier not to think. It's easier not to know. It's easier to just, go with the flow. I guess I was drowned in it too long for my own good.

They did say, 'Friendship is not about whom you have known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side.'

So I decided to put all my cards out, and believe in that. 
I had a few friends like that so why not? But I guess I was blind- given that I'm short-sighted is not helping- I didn't see it coming. Everything happened too fast I don't even have the time to process anything and the next thing I know, they're gone. 
No words, no text, no calls, no interaction, no anything. 
They simply left. After all that we have been through, they simply left.

And I guess time is being very cruel to me. Time didn't help me heal. It delayed the pain I would feel. Time keeps us at arm's length; a rather short distance with impenetrable divide. As if we're just mere strangers. How can people change in a short amount of time?
Don't they remember even though it was a small fraction, moments and hurdles we've overcome, that somehow have made us the way we are today?
Don't they feel the bittersweet, longing and aching in their hearts every time the thoughts passed by? Or was it just me?
Nobody is safe from their own memories. 

I learned this the hard way. Constantly being reminded of them because of everything around me. It's not fine in the slightest way to be haunted by the past memories. It's like it has been embedded deep inside yourself.  At first I thought it was okay, I thought because I've gotten used to it so I thought it won't affect me that much.  I tried forgetting but it feels like dying. I tried to be strong. But then, can I really stand dying at the end of each day? I made an effort that will end up in vain.

So I guess a friendship that can cease has never been real.

I guess I was the main reason why. I guess I wasn't trying hard enough. I wasn't good enough. Perhaps because I pushed them away. Perhaps because I was selfish. Perhaps because I was stupid. Stupid enough not to understand the meanings behind their languages. Stupid enough not to let them see how much I love them. Stupid enough not to realized they're slipping away. Stupid enough to let even the slightest room in my heart for something so temporary where it hurts worse than the emptiness before they came. Stupid enough, you can even say I'm desperate for it, to trust and to be trusted. 
So, I tied us with unbearable weight. 
Now I want to let it go.

Although it was easier said than done, I'd try to let it go. 
In order to live and keep moving on, I have to let it go. 
I lost it. 
No matter how hard I try to look at it in the bright side, 
deep down I know, I've lost.


Let me give you a piece of advice: Appreciate those around and hold onto them, never let go. For I regret letting what used to be in my grasp slipping away.
Take life by the horns today, tomorrow and forever.

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THANKS FOR BEING HERE ! LOVE YA !

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