There's nothing new happening obviously. Right now, I'm currently in a phase where almost everyone in my age are facing; working/having jobs, attending interviews or MEdsi tests, spending little time with friends and family, and waiting for the results for next intake to college and universities. Or was it just me? I'm not exactly sure. Somehow I'm an outcast to the world. Not that they're doing that to me, no. More like I'm not standing out enough or in other words, not taking interest in what the world was facing.
Which its consequences were shown in so many different ways.
I've never know having someone constantly around can cause such heartbreak in the end. Wait. Scratch that, actually I do know. I just didn't think it will happen to me.
Why? Because it felt so good. To have someone fussing over you, worried about you, do some stupid, ridiculous and absurd things with you, always- okay maybe not always but most of the time- be there for you. It felt very good.
Hence, I never thought about them leaving me.
Simply because it's easier not to think. It's easier not to know. It's easier to just, go with the flow. I guess I was drowned in it too long for my own good.
They did say, 'Friendship is not about whom you have known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side.'
So I decided to put all my cards out, and believe in that.
I had a few friends like that so why not? But I guess I was blind- given that I'm short-sighted is not helping- I didn't see it coming. Everything happened too fast I don't even have the time to process anything and the next thing I know, they're gone.
No words, no text, no calls, no interaction, no anything.
They simply left. After all that we have been through, they simply left.
I had a few friends like that so why not? But I guess I was blind- given that I'm short-sighted is not helping- I didn't see it coming. Everything happened too fast I don't even have the time to process anything and the next thing I know, they're gone.
No words, no text, no calls, no interaction, no anything.
They simply left. After all that we have been through, they simply left.
And I guess time is being very cruel to me. Time didn't help me heal. It delayed the pain I would feel. Time keeps us at arm's length; a rather short distance with impenetrable divide. As if we're just mere strangers. How can people change in a short amount of time?
Don't they remember even though it was a small fraction, moments and hurdles we've overcome, that somehow have made us the way we are today?
Don't they feel the bittersweet, longing and aching in their hearts every time the thoughts passed by? Or was it just me?
Nobody is safe from their own memories.
Don't they remember even though it was a small fraction, moments and hurdles we've overcome, that somehow have made us the way we are today?
Don't they feel the bittersweet, longing and aching in their hearts every time the thoughts passed by? Or was it just me?
Nobody is safe from their own memories.
I learned this the hard way. Constantly being reminded of them because of everything around me. It's not fine in the slightest way to be haunted by the past memories. It's like it has been embedded deep inside yourself. At first I thought it was okay, I thought because I've gotten used to it so I thought it won't affect me that much. I tried forgetting but it feels like dying. I tried to be strong. But then, can I really stand dying at the end of each day? I made an effort that will end up in vain.
So I guess a friendship that can cease has never been real.
I guess I was the main reason why. I guess I wasn't trying hard enough. I wasn't good enough. Perhaps because I pushed them away. Perhaps because I was selfish. Perhaps because I was stupid. Stupid enough not to understand the meanings behind their languages. Stupid enough not to let them see how much I love them. Stupid enough not to realized they're slipping away. Stupid enough to let even the slightest room in my heart for something so temporary where it hurts worse than the emptiness before they came. Stupid enough, you can even say I'm desperate for it, to trust and to be trusted.
So, I tied us with unbearable weight.
Now I want to let it go.
So, I tied us with unbearable weight.
Now I want to let it go.
Although it was easier said than done, I'd try to let it go.
In order to live and keep moving on, I have to let it go.
I lost it.
No matter how hard I try to look at it in the bright side,
deep down I know, I've lost.
Let me give you a piece of advice: Appreciate those around and hold onto them, never let go. For I regret letting what used to be in my grasp slipping away.
Take life by the horns today, tomorrow and forever.
In order to live and keep moving on, I have to let it go.
I lost it.
No matter how hard I try to look at it in the bright side,
deep down I know, I've lost.
Let me give you a piece of advice: Appreciate those around and hold onto them, never let go. For I regret letting what used to be in my grasp slipping away.
Take life by the horns today, tomorrow and forever.
